A Letter to My Younger Self

In my 20's, I thought I knew everything.  In my 30's, I realized I only knew about half of what I thought I knew.  In my 40's, I let go of the need to know it all.  But wouldn't it have been nice to have a heads up about a few things as you were starting your journey as an adult?

As I watch my two oldest daughters (23 and 17) at vulnerable ages where so many things are changing and they're growing into adulthood, I can't help but think about my younger self and wonder what would I share with me now.

Dear Sue,

I know there are times when you don't feel like you're good enough.  Like you should be doing more or have achieved more.  Stop doubting yourself.  You are enough.  You are stronger than you can imagine.

You may not feel confident, but the truth is...you have more confidence than most.  Find your voice early and don't be afraid to use it.  Your opinion matters.  Be an active participant in decisions involving your life.

That boy who stole your heart, but also drives you crazy...he's a keeper.  Marriage is not all rainbows and fairytales, but it will not take you long to figure that out.  There will be many ups and downs along the way, but together you can do anything.  Be open and honest about your feelings and the downs won't be so long.  Even though the demands of raising kids and work are many, make time for each other.

I know you felt like school wasn't for you.  You need to know that just because you don't have a college degree, it doesn't mean you can't excel in a career.  Find something that you love and work hard.  You'll be surprised how much you can achieve.

You will have three bright and beautiful daughters.  The experience of motherhood is truly like having your heart walking around outside of your body.  Your love for them will be fierce.  You will guide them to have strong morals and faith.  They will amaze you everyday.  You will have moments of mommy guilt.  Just know, everyone does and it's okay.

You will feel like there's always something else you should be doing.  Sometimes it's okay to slow down.  So the laundry's piled up or the dishes need to be washed.  Take the time to relax.  Read your favorite book, play a game with the kids, take a walk, watch a beautiful sunset.  All those other things you feel like you should be doing will be there when you're finished.

As you're raising your family and building your career, don't forget to take care of you.  You have a tendency to put your needs on the back burner.  I promise you...if you take care of yourself first, you will be better for them.  Stress will take a toll on your health.  Learn how to manage it early.

Be grateful for all the blessings in your life.  Don't hold grudges.  Realize that most people are doing the best they can in their circumstances.

Most of all...love more...smile more...laugh more...and don't take yourself so seriously.  You're actually pretty funny when you let your guard down!

"In the end, only three things matter...how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." - Buddha

Love,

Your much wiser 47 year old self!